Heads we win, tails you're Jews
November 13 2026
ON the social media network formally known as Twitter, a great deal of mockery greets a new Byline Times exposé, which is supposedly the result of a six-month investigation exploring a malevolent “network” of pro-Zionist influencers launching co-ordinated smear campaigns against various left-wing (and pro-Palestinian) public figures.
It identifies a sinister anonymous account by the name of “Habibi” seemingly at the dark heart of everything. Habibi somehow had the temerity to express his or her belief that the war in Gaza was just, that Israel has not been engaging in “genocide”, that Palestine Action activists deserve to be punished and that the overwhelming majority of pro-Palestinian discourse is stewed in antisemitism and filled with tropes that wouldn’t seem out of place in a medieval Papal bull condemning the use of gentile blood to bake matzos.
This painstaking piece of investigative journalism turns its attention to the campaign against former footballer, TV presenter and latter-day human rights martyr Gary Lineker. “Since November 2022, 34 accounts in the network have named him in 210 posts,” it says. Frankly, that doesn’t seem a very large number at all in the context of the near infinite white noise of social media. Furthermore, Habibi’s tweet - “Jews! Please do not upset Gary Lineker by shooting at people who want to murder you” - seems to express quite reasonable scepticism about Lineker’s late middle-age moral rebirth as a campaigner for the oppressed.
It also mentions Douglas Murray posting “four times in two days” about Lineker, which is about as far away from a social media blitzkrieg as it gets.
When Lineker is finally forced to leave the BBC, Byline Times says the persecution of Gary the Martyr, still earning a very lucrative living as a Netflix-backed podcaster, just doesn’t stop. “In the 16 months after May 2025 the network named him 118 times.” The humanity!
With no sense of shame, Habibi continued his relentless assaults on St. Gary, and also devoted time to attacking the likes of Hamas-adjacent former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, the objectively antisemitic sociologist David Miller and the Green Party entryist Mothin Ali, all of whom would be precisely the sort of people you would attack if you happened to disagree with their openly-stated objectives to destroy the Zionist Entity.
Naturally, Byline Times doesn’t quite say explicitly that “the network” is secretly funded by the Elders of Zion, or that dedicated clickbaiters and shitposters like Habibi are leading figures in a clandestine cabal of devoted Jewish baby killers. At the same time, its reporting is so befuddled by conspiracy theory that it simply cannot possibly accept that a loose alliance of like-minded people might decide of their own free will to agitate against those they disagree with. Habibi, whoever he or she might be, doesn’t need to be in the pay of Big Jew to express the opinions he or she expresses: the attention and outrage he or she stokes is more than enough to earn a living.
It reminds me once again of the tails-we-win-heads-you-lose scenarios faced by Jews throughout the ages. As a Jew, you are persecuted for being apart, and persecuted for blending in. You are hated for converting and hated for keeping to your own. You are hated for meekly getting along with the business of living, and hated for trying to assert your political rights. You are hated for doing things differently and hated for doing things the same. Anything that improves your fortunes and lessens your persecution is evidence of a secret government dedicated to the subjugation of the human race.
At the end of this farrago of nonsense, Byline Times draws our attention to the existence of a WhatsApp group that happens to consist of journalists campaigning against antisemitism. Some of them might even be Jewish! For any other ethnic or religious group, this would have been a simple matter of asserting one’s collective interests, but for anything even vaguely pro-Israel, it is interpreted as a sinister underground cabal casting incantations against the goyim.
It took Byline Times six months to research this farrago of nonsense, which essentially boils down to the idea that anyone who is pro-Israel is either part of a malign Elders of Zion "network" and in the pay of Big Jew, or bewitched by rabbinical spells. Shame on them.
